Koi
by stopwatch-plz
Summary: Kuroh was just beginning to get used to his new life, when his old one reappeared.


It wasn't as if he hadn't had a choice.

Kuroh's mission from Master Ichigen had been to find and evaluate the new Colourless King. Shiro _wasn't_ the Colourless King - who had turned out to be evil and therefore and eliminated - and now Shiro was gone as well. Therefore, his purpose had been realised and he had no reason not to leave.

Except he hadn't.

If he was honest, he also hadn't really believed Shiro would be back (he still couldn't think of him as Weismann). Days turned into weeks, and when they turned into months he started admitting to himself that his initial hopes had been unfounded. During this time, Neko refused to leave his side which had been incredibly frustrating at first, as he wasn't able to detach himself from her in order to think about his own situation. Then, as time went on, he realised that this _was_ his situation. For better or for worse, this path had been chosen for him. And it could have been a lot worse, he told himself, as he set to work creating a home for them both. That was one of the many things he was thankful to Master Ichigen for - a stable place to learn and grow. He thought that they both needed that right now. He had even managed to find a job in a small restaurant nearby - it wasn't glamorous but he earnt enough for them both to live off of, and he enjoyed the creative outlet and focus it gave him.

An uneasy peace has fallen over the city since the incident at Ashinaka. The streets had been eerily quiet, Kuroh noting that both the Red and Blue clan had been conspicuous by their overwhelming absence. He supposed that the Reds were off mourning the loss of their King - someone who was a friend as well as a leader to many of them. He couldn't help but understand that. The Blues... well, without the Reds kicking up an unholy racket on the streets there was nothing much for them to do. So Shizume carried on in her daily life in a strange, sterile manner.

The day had been just the same as any other. The restaurant had been busy that evening, and Kuroh was tired but happy. He had received a commendation from the owner for his work, which had been well received, and as he walked back home along the streets moonlit streets he suddenly realise that he was content. Not happy _- _that wasn't even thought of yet - but content. It was nice to just just _be, _and have the chance to breathe. So of course, that was the exact time that it happened.

"Kuroh!"

He stopped mid-stride, eyes widening in shock as his heart skipped a beat at that voice. No, it couldn't be!

"Kuroh?"

His gaze fixed downwards onto the rough concrete underfoot, still damn from the earlier rain shower. The light from the closest streetlamp reflected hazily in a nearby puddle and he got lost in the reflection until he suddenly realised someone was getting closer. Spurred into action, he spun on his heels, hand reaching for _kotowari_ before remembering that he didn't carry the sword around with him any longer, and his hands slowly caught up with his brain which, in turn, seized up at what he saw.

"Sh-_Shiro?_"

The person in front of him wasn't the Shiro he had known. The man who stood before him was older and taller, dressed in different clothes and with a different stance but... those eyes. He would have recognised them anywhere.

"Kuroh," Shiro said, walking towards him, one hand raised palm-outward in a calming gesture. He stopped as he reached the taller man and looked up into stormy gray eyes. "I've been searching for you for a long time," he said softly. "I owe you an apology."

Kuroh blinked as a wave of emotions rushed through him and threatened to knock him off-balance. He blinked a few times and tried to speak, but the words escaped him. Shiro gave a small smile and reached up to place the palm of his hand on Kuroh's chest. Kuroh looked down at the small hand covering his heart and choked back a sob as he reached up to grasp it in his own, and let Shiro bring them together in an embrace in the middle of the street.

…

The reunion had been a joyous one. Neko had literally squealed with joy when she saw him, and bolted into the bedroom, which had confused them both until she reappeared a few second later holding the old, battered red parasol that she had been keeping safe ever since that day. She spent the evening alternating between bounding around their small apartment, hugging the parasol as if her life depended on it. Eventually, exhausted, she curled up next to Shiro as they sat in the living area, repeating his name over and over as though, if she stopped, it would all turn out to be a dream. Kuroh couldn't help but smile at her endless enthusiasm, though it was inevitable that, once the initial shock had worn out, she collapsed in a heap on the futon next to them both, a smile on her face. They both spent a few minutes in silence watching her sleep peacefully, then Shiro cleared his throat.

"I owe you an explanation," he started, and held up a hand to cut Kuroh off as he started to speak. "Please, let me. Then I'll answer all your questions. Well, the ones I can at least.." He waited for a nod of acquiescence and then continued. "When I was stabbed by the Red King, both the Colourless King and my then-body died. I expected that. However, what I didn't expected was that the shock jolted my soul back into my old body - which had been kept in stasis by the Gold King, Daikaku Kokujyōji**, **since the Himmelreich was destroyed. It seems there was just enough of a link to transport me back into my old body," he smiled and looked awkward. "Unfortunately, there wasn't quite enough for all my memories to make the journey as well. Again." He closed his eyes and sighed softly. "I really am getting quite bored with this happening... Anyway," he brightened up, "I was looked after by the Gold King until my memories started returning. As they did, I realised that my memories and personality had moved with me and, well. I've decided to keep the name from my last incarnation. I tried to leave as soon as I started remembering, but my body wasn't up to it physically or mentally. I couldn't even track you with my power. I thought... At first, because I couldn't sense you, I thought you had both gone." Shiro's voice went quiet as he looked out of the nearby window out into the night. "I thought I had lost you both."

Kuroh looked at him and gave a small smile. "If it makes you feel any better, I was starting to believe you wouldn't be coming back," he admitted in a rare moment of doubt. "I kept up the pretense for Neko but..." he trailed off and looked at the sleeping cat-girl. "She wouldn't leave town, kept going on about how you would find us if we moved. I tried to tell her that even if you did come back you'd be able to find us through our Clan link but, well... In the end we just stayed here."

"You have a nice house," Shiro said as he looked around. "Neko was lucky to have you."

"I think I was lucky to have her, too," he replied, quietly. "So. You must be tired after today. Please, take the bedroom. I'll sleep here.."

"Are you sure?" Shiro asked, and Kuroh nodded and smiled. "It's the least I can do, my King."

Shiro blushed a deep red. "Are we not friends, Kuroh-kun?" he asked, pouting slightly.

"We are both, Shiro," Kuroh replied gently, "but please, humour me for tonight." He got up and straightened his jacket. "The room should be in order, I have some fresh towels for you to use. I'll leave them outside your door."

Shiro smiled as he joined Kuroh, and let himself be led to the bedroom. "Thank you," he said quietly, as he reached out to grasp Kuroh's hand.

He got a gentle squeeze in response.

…

The morning dawned bright and clear, and Shiro stretched out the kinks in his muscles from the deep sleep he'd had. The futon was solid, but comfortable, and the exploits of the previous day had caught up on him which led him to fall asleep quickly. He hummed to himself as he got dressed into a yukata which was hanging by the bed, and slid his feet into a matching pair of slippers resting underneath. Checking himself in the full-length mirror on the wall he smiled to himself as he crossed the floor and opened the door - and almost fell over something.

"Wah!" he cried, as he flung out his arms to catch his fall. Before they made contact, however, he felt a long arm wrap around his waist and as he turned he saw a rather sheepish-looking Kuroh staring at him. He looked confused as he was put back on his feet. "What are you doing?" Kuroh refused to make eye contact as he stood up, and it was only then that Shiro noticed the blanket on the floor. "Have you... Did you sleep outside my door last night?"

Kuroh, in turn, blushed. "I was... I just wanted to make sure you were ok," he said quietly. _I just wanted to make sure you didn't leave again_, was what he didn't say.

"Oh, Kuroh-kun," he said with a touch of sadness. They stood in awkward silence, neither quite knowing what to say, as they were both saved by a blur of motion coming towards them down the hallway..

"Shiro-ooooo!" Neko cried as she launched herself at him and wrapped her arms around his neck, rather tightly.

"Morning, Neko-chan!" he gasped. "Would you mind loosening your grip a little?"

Neko looked at his in confusion and saw his face turning red. "Oops!" she declared, and untangled herself from him. Shiro smiled and petted her on the head, which made her smile.

"I shall prepare breakfast," Kuroh said. "What would you like to eat?"

"Neko would like omurice!" she declared with a nod, and then looked at Shiro hesitantly. "Shiro would like omurice too?" she asked hopefully.

"Shiro would indeed like omurice," he said, looking at Kuroh. "If that's ok?" he asked quietly, and Kuroh nodded in return as he made his way to the small kitchen set off from the living room. The apartment was a little on the compact size and not really large enough for the three of them, but right now it didn't seem a problem. Shiro sat down on the cushions placed on the tatami floor, and Neko contented herself by playing with Shiro's long hair, which was was quite a fascination for her. Kuroh set to cooking their food as his thoughts whirred - it was strange enough to have them back together again, even more so for Shiro's change in appearance, but it was true that it was the Shiro they knew and loved inside there. Could this be the family he had always wanted, had been looking for since Ichigen-sama left him? His thoughts kept him company while he prepared their meal, and nodded in satisfaction as it all came together.

"Breakfast time!" he declared as he brought a tray of steaming tea and food into the main room. Shiro and Neko both snapped to attention at the low table and watched with gratitude as he laid everything out. Neko waited for everyone to sit down before declaring it time to eat and started wolfing down the food, which made Shiro laugh and Kuroh smile.

"So - what shall we do today then?" Shiro said as he drank the last of his tea. "We have to go out and celebrate!" He smiled as Neko squealed in excitement.  
"Neko will go wherever Shiro goes. Always!" she exclaimed, then jumped up from the table and shot down the hall talking to herself.

"Where you would like to go, Kuroh?"

"Away," he said, without hesitation. "Outside the City. I want... to get away." He looked up at Shiro, who smiled and nodded in agreement.

"I think that is a great idea."

…

It was approaching midday when their train pulled up to their stop, Neko pushed her face up against the glass and made noises of confusion. "It's ok," Shiro said as he rested a hand on her shoulder. "It's only the beach. It won't hurt you."

"Neko doesn't like water," she said in a small voice as they all got up and left the train, picking their bags up as they went.

"You don't have to go in the water. There are lots of other things to do! And we can have ice-cream," he said reassuringly as the cat-girl looked at him. Satisfied with this reply, she nodded once, grinned then ran off towards a nearby park. Shiro watched her disappear. "I really hope she doesn't get lost."

"Believe me, she'd be able to find us if we ran to the other side of the planet," Kuroh said deadpan, and Shiro bit back a laugh.

"It sounds like you speak from experience, Kuroh-kun?" he teased, and he was rewarded with a wry smile.

"Neko-chan is very... determined," Kuroh said with a smile. "Now, shall we find somewhere to sit?"

The day was warm and clear, and a light breeze came off from the sea as they found two seats at a little cafe at the edge of the shore. After each ordering drinks from a smiling waitress who came to greet them, they looked over the water in silence. It was hard to believe that only a few months ago their lives were so full of confusion, anger and hurt.

"Ah, I wish we could stay here," Shiro said, eyes closed as he let out a deep sigh and leant back in his chair. He sat for awhile in silence before speaking up, his eyes still closed. "I can feel you looking at me, Kuroh," he said light-heartedly.

Kuroh blushed and looked away, stammering. "I wasn't.. I mean, I didn't..."

"It's ok," Shiro said, as he opened his eyes and looked at him. "To me, you're both the same as you were before, but to you both - well, I must be quite different. At least, on the outside," he smiled. "I have the both of you to thank for a lot and, while I must go back to help where I can, today is a special day for me to show my gratitude. Without you both..." Shiro didn't have to finish what he was saying. "I can't pretend that everything will be ok - even I don't know that. There are things I need to do, and I'm sure that with the emergence of the next Red King that there will be even more. But I don't want to run any more." Shiro looked away, embarrassed. "I know I can't right the wrongs I may have done, but I'm hoping that I can go forwards and do my best from now. And I hope you'll help me."

"You will always have me," Kuroh said quietly as he looked at Shiro, who smiled in response, and it might have gotten a bit uncomfortable at that moment if they hadn't been interrupted by a shrill cry.

"There's Shiro!" Neko called as she bounded towards them and came to an abrupt stop at Shiro's chair. "Can we have ice cream?! Please?!" she asked, eyes wide with a smile on her face.

"I don't think I can refuse, can I?" Shiro laughed in response, and waited for a waitress to come over to place their order, and they sat together, laughing and talking, until their desserts came. Kuroh blinked as the biggest strawberry sundae he had seen in his life was placed in front of him, and Neko was overjoyed with just vanilla ice cream with twice as much cream on the top. And Shiro... Shiro had the biggest bowl of sugar Kuroh had ever seen. He watched with a mixture of amazement and wonder as every last bit was eaten with great enthusiasm when suddenly Shiro looked up at him and grinned. Taken aback, Kuroh flushed self-consciously.

"Is there something wrong with your ice cream, Kuroh-kun?" Shiro asked quietly, and Kuroh shook his head.

"I-It's nothing," Kuroh stammered, as he picked up his spoon and made a start on the impossible creation in front of him while trying not to look up. He was still trying to work out what was going on with them all, with himself. Things had finally started to make sense again, for the first time in so long and then, this... It was all just so confusing for him still that he didn't know what to think, so he say in silence eating his ice cream and tasting nothing.

"I wish we could stay here," Shiro said suddenly, his voice soft. "We could have a small house here, us three. I think we would be happy..." Shiro's voice trailed off, words unspoken

Kuroh looked across the table impassively. "But we can't," he said, simply, as he stood up and brushed imaginary creases out of his shirt; he didn't have time for sentimentality.

Shiro nodded and was about to reply when the first fat drop of rain fell out the sky. "I think we should be leaving soon," he said, just as it seemed the sky tore open and a deluge hit them. Neko cried out in disapproval and disgust at getting wet, and tried to hide under the smallest pot plant in the cafe. Shiro couldn't help himself and started laughing, quietly at first but turning into one that almost bent him double, the sight of the poor cat-girl trying to hide under a leaf no bigger than his hand! Kuroh looked at Shiro, then to Neko, and then back to Shiro, all three of them getting soaked through all the while. He felt a tug at the corner of his mouth, which turned into a smile and soon, without even knowing it, he was laughing along with them.

...

By the time they all arrived home they were tired, wet and hungry. Kuroh shooed the both of them into the bathroom to get dry while he changed himself, and set to work in the kitchen. Cooking calmed and focussed his mind, and he soon found himself reflecting on the last few days, and realised that there was something not quite right. Somewhere inside of him - deep down inside - there was something not right. Some part of him that felt that he wasn't happy. Something... With a jolt he stiffened and dropped the spoon that he was holding. It clattered to the floor with a bang and he ignored the voice calling out to him asking if all was ok. Could it really be true?

Could he _resent _Shiro being back?

Admittedly, they had been comfortable here, the two of them. Kuroh had enjoyed his job at the restaurant, enjoyed the calm and routine that each day brought. For the first time in a long while he had had the chance of a normal life, and then...  
"Are you ok, Kuroh-kun?" He looked up to see Shiro standing in the doorway, dressed in one of his yukata, grey with red edging, a look of concern on his face.

"I-yes, I'm fine, yes," he stuttered, caught off-guard, and he tried to cover up his unease as he bent down to pick the dropped utensil. He turned to place it in the sink, and reached up to turn on the tap as he felt fingers wrap around his wrist. He turned sideways to find Shiro in front of him.

"I'm sorry," Shiro said, a sad smile on his face.

"Sorry for what?" Kuro asked, confused, as he say uncertainty in the grey eyes looking at him.

"I was so overjoyed to find you both I didn't think how it would affect you. I know you've been caring for Neko ever since I... left, and that you both had a life and then I turn up..." Shiro looked away, and scratched his head awkwardly. "To me, everything is still the same, and in my determination to make things right I missed that everything seems new to you," he said, self-consciously indicating himself. "I feel like I've done it again, just barging into people's lives and tipping them upside-down."

Kuroh hesitated a moment, then smiled as realisation came to him. "You do seem to be very good at that," to which Shiro looked up and blushed self-consciously, "but not only are you our king but also - I hope - our friend. This is what friends do. I can't pretend it hasn't been a shock, but this has been our dearest wish, that you would come back. I know things will be different from now, and it may be difficult at first, but this is the path I chose and the one I will keep walking with you." As he spoke, he felt that hard knot deep inside him start to loosen and unravel, and he smiled inwardly. "Your new, uh, _appearance_, has been rather different - though not so much that I couldn't recognise you instantly," Kuroh admitted in a rare moment of openness.

Shiro smiled as he brought his hand up, which was still holding Kuroh's wrist, and he clasped his other hand over theirs. "Thank you, Kuroh," he said quietly, and they stood looking at each other for a moment until Neko came bounding into the kitchen, loudly proclaiming her hunger, which made them both laugh awkwardly before breaking contact and dishing out the fried rice that had been getting cold on the side, and they sat in near-silence as they finished the lot, until Shiro let out a burp that was so loud they all dissolved into laughter.

"I think it's time for bed now," Shiro said as Kuroh cleared away the table. "It's been a busy day for us all." His hand absent-mindedly petted Neko who had, at some point, changed back into her cat-form and was curled up on his lap. "And I think you should both sleep in the room with me."

Kuroh almost dropped one of the plates he was holding. "What?" he asked, shocked.

Shiro shrugged. "You'll only sleep outside my door again if I don't - at least this way you can keep a closer eye on me," and he grinned at the blush this brought to Kuroh's face.

"I'm not stalking you, you know!" he huffed as he set to work tidying the kitchen, glad he was facing away from Shiro so he didn't embarrass himself any further. The idea of sharing a room...

"Well, I will set up a bed on the floor for you. You may use it if you wish," Shiro got up, cradling a very sleepy cat in his hands, and he paused at the doorway before adding. "I hope you do.. Good night!" and with that, Shiro turned and made his way down the hallway towards the bedroom.

Kuroh stood in the kitchen as he heard Shiro getting ready for bed, singing a tune that he didn't recognise. It was a soft song, something like a lullaby, and it made Kuroh sad in a way that he couldn't quite put his finger on. He stood listening until Shiro finished, and the apartment descended into quiet, then he carried on with with the cleaning and tidying, using the time to think things over. As he finished the last section, he nodded with satisfaction and turned the lights off, giving one last look at the darkened room before turning round and heading off down the hallway.

...

At first, he wasn't sure what had woken him. Kuroh jolted awake, a shot of adrenaline rushing through his system, and he was instantly on guard, prepared and ready for any would-be foe. Except there was no-one else there. He could feel the weight of Neko on him, still curled up in her cat-form, snoring softly, and he reached down to scratch at her ear absent-mindedly, wondering what had woken him. Then he heard it again; a soft moaning sound, quiet but just audible. It sounded lonely and in pain - and it was coming from the bed. He was up in an instant, scooping up the sleeping cat and placing her back down on the blankets, and Kuroh made his way across the room in the almost-darkness to the bed where he saw Shiro, tangled in the sheets, still asleep with a pained expression on his sweat-soaked face. Without hesitating, Kuroh sat down on the bed and reached out.

"Wake up, Shiro," Kuroh said as he shook the other man's shoulder, then ducked as an arm came flying almost out of nowhere. "Aah!" he exclaimed in shock, as he almost fell off the bed, stabilised with a strong hand gripping around his arm.

"Sorry!"

Kuroh looked up to see a rather embarrassed Shiro looking at him, his hair messed from sleeping and the covers half-off him, thanks to the dive he performed to save Kuroh from ending up on the floor - who, for his part, tried to maintain some dignity and righted himself to sit on on the edge of the bed, straightening his top self-consciously. "You were having a bad dream," Kuroh said softly, and Shiro looked away. He paused for a moment and then spoke.

"I dreamt... I dreamt I came back, and you weren't here. I searched everywhere, but I couldn't find you, couldn't feel you anywhere. I think... I think I've spent too long on my own..." Shiro trailed off and took a deep, shuddering breath as he seemed to come back to his senses. "Sorry, I'm not being very kingly, am I?"

Kuroh smiled. "I think you're doing fine. And you're not on you own, not anymore. And you need you sleep," he said, as he stood up.

"Wait!" Shiro called, and Kuroh felt fingers wrap around his wrist. "Stay here."

"What?"

"Please?" Shiro asked.

"But it's not... proper," Kuroh replied awkwardly, caught off-guard by the request, as he saw a flash of uncertainty and almost vulnerability flash across Shiro's face.

"Says who?" Shiro said with just a hint of his usual smile, and there was a brief pause before Kuroh gave a soft sigh and stood up to pull the covers back.

"You are a very strange king," Kuroh said as he settled down beside Shiro, who was facing away from him. He hesitated at first, then wrapped his arm around the other man's body. He breathed in, and it smelled like belonging, like _home_, and he smiled as Shiro replied quietly.

"But a very good friend."

_A friend, _Kuroh thought to himself, as he listened to the sound of Shiro's breathing. He supposed they were, and it made him feel a little guilty.

"Sorry I tried to kill you, he said quietly, and he got a shock when Shiro burst out laughing and turned around so that they were facing each other. Kuroh could see the gleam in the other man's eyes, so much more like the boy - _the man_ - that he knew.

"It was an... interesting way to start a friendship," Shiro said with mock seriousness, and then smiled softly. "Thank you," he said, and suddenly bent forwards and kissed Kuroh on the lips.

It wasn't a kiss of passion - not at first. It was a kiss of gratefulness, of forgiveness, of loneliness - the kiss of two lonely people seeking comfort in another person - though it soon, unexpected on both sides, escalated into more, as fingers reached out to grasp fistfulls of material. Shiro broke contact first, breathing hard, the sound seeming too loud for the small space they inhabited. It was easy for them, in the anonymous darkness, to leave their inhibitions outside the room. For the first time, perhaps, they saw each other as equals.

"Sorry," Shiro breathed, and he felt a hand close over his mouth.

"If you apologise I'll assume you didn't mean it," Kuroh said as he removed his hand, and he heard Shiro give a huff of amusement.

"When did you get so bold?" The words were asked playfully but they struck a chord with Kuroh.

_When I realised I couldn't bear to lose you a second time, _was what he thought. At last, his thoughts were silent - he hadn't realised how loud they had been, drowning out the rest of his life in static.

"Stop thinking so hard, Kuroh-kun," Shiro woke him from his thoughts with another kiss then settled back down beside him, managing to somehow seem both confident and vulnerable at the same time. Kuroh sighed and settled down beside him, once again reaching over to hold his friend was about to say something more when he heard a noise.

"Shiro-kun?" A quiet, nervous voice came through the darkness.

"Come and join us, Neko-chan," Shiro said, without hesitation, and Kuroh closed his eyes and smiled. This was the Shiro he knew. The bed dipped slightly as they felt Neko jump into the bed, back in her cat-form, and waited until she settled down at the foot of the bed.

"I can't promise things will be easy," Shiro finally said into the darkness, "but I'm glad I'll have you by my side."

It was all Kuroh needed.


End file.
